How to choose the right therapist (a 12-point checklist)

There are a few thousand licensed psychologists in Moldova. The best have waiting lists. The least well trained are available immediately. The difference between a good choice and a mediocre one is six to twelve months of your life, plus a substantial bill.

This is the selection guide my colleagues use when recommending a therapist to a friend — twelve criteria, with concrete questions to ask before session one.

First: what "the right therapist" actually means

Research on psychotherapy outcomes (Wampold & Imel, 2015, The Great Psychotherapy Debate) shows that common factors account for 70-85% of results, more than the specific technique:

• The therapeutic alliance — trust and collaboration with the therapist.
• The patient's expectations — the belief that therapy will help.
• The therapist's personal qualities — empathy, authenticity, clarity.

That means personal fit matters at least as much as the qualification. But the qualification remains necessary — without competence, no amount of fit saves it.

The twelve points below cover both dimensions.

1. A verified licence

In Moldova, the College of Psychologists maintains a public register at cpsm.md. Check the name before your first session. In Romania: the Romanian College of Psychologists, copsi.ro.

Ask, or look up:

• "Are you registered with the College of Psychologists?"
• "What is your licence number?"
• "Do you have the right to autonomous practice, or are you supervised?"

Autonomous practice means they can work independently. Supervised means early career, under mentorship. Both are acceptable, but for complex cases the absence of supervision is relevant.

2. Relevant specialisation

A generalist is different from someone specialising in trauma, eating disorders or couples.

• "What problems do you treat most?"
• "Do you have experience with [anxiety, depression, grief, whatever brings you]?"
• "How many patients with similar problems have you worked with?"

An answer of "everything" is a warning sign. The best therapists specialise.

3. The therapeutic approach

There are many approaches — CBT, psychodynamic, EMDR, schema therapy, IFS, ACT. For certain problems, certain approaches work clearly better:

• Anxiety, OCD, panic → CBT, exposure.
• Trauma → EMDR, somatic experiencing, trauma-focused therapy.
• Couples → the Gottman Method, EFT.
• Personality disorders → DBT, schema therapy, mentalisation.
• Chronic depression → combinations of CBT and psychodynamic work.

Ask: "What approaches do you work with?" and "For my specific situation, what would you recommend?" A somewhat flexible answer is fine — but they must be able to go into detail.

4. Years of experience

More years doesn't automatically mean better. But:

• Under 3 years — still in formation. Good for straightforward cases.
• 3-7 years — solid experience for most situations.
• 7+ years — expertise, and often deep specialisation.

For complex cases — PTSD, personality disorders, couples with a history of trauma — look for 5+ years.

5. Continuing training

The best therapists keep training. Ask: "What training have you done in the past year?" and "Are you in supervision or peer supervision?" No continuing training means stagnation.

6. Language

In Moldova many patients prefer Russian for therapy, for reasons of emotional fluency. There is no good or bad language — there is the language of your childhood, in which emotions are more naturally accessible.

• "What languages do you run sessions in?"
• "Do you have a preference for patients in a particular language?"

For couples: the language the couple actually uses. If you speak Russian between you, look for a bilingual therapist.

7. Format — online or in person

In short: online works well for anxiety, depression and most situations, with advantages in time, privacy and access to specialists in other cities. In person is necessary for severe trauma with dissociation, children under seven, and couples with a history of physical violence.

8. Frequency and availability

• "What frequency do you recommend for my situation?" (Weekly is the standard start.)
• "How flexible are your hours?" (They should be able to offer two or three possible slots a week.)
• "How long are sessions?" (50 minutes is standard.)
• "Is there a waiting list?"

A waiting list longer than four weeks means look elsewhere if your need is acute. Waiting can let a problem become chronic.

9. Cost and transparency

Typical prices in Moldova (2026):

• 1-3 years' experience: 300-400 MDL a session.
• 3-7 years: 400-550 MDL.
• 7+ years or deep specialisation: 550-800 MDL.
• Packages of 4-12 sessions: 15-25% off.

Ask about the per-session cost, whether packages exist, the cancellation policy (standard: free with more than 24 hours' notice), and whether they accept insurance.

A caution: very low prices, under 300 MDL, can indicate incomplete training. Very high ones, over 1000 MDL, should be justified by exceptional specialisation.

10. Confidentiality

• "What clinical notes do you keep?"
• "Who else sees my notes?" (Answer: only them. Possibly an anonymised version with their supervisor.)
• "How is the data stored?" (GDPR-compliant.)
• "Is anything from the session recorded?" (Ideally nothing, or only with your explicit permission.)

For online therapy: "What platform do you use?" Secure, purpose-built platforms are fine. WhatsApp and Skype are less secure.

11. Crises between sessions

Ask: "What do I do if I have a crisis between sessions?"

Acceptable answers: "Call or message me, I'll reply within a few hours." "I have a protocol for emergencies." "Outside working hours I'll direct you to the emergency line."

A problematic answer: "That's what sessions are for, I'm not available in between."

12. Personal fit — the trial session

After every objective criterion, a trial session is the best assessment. Many therapists offer a first consultation of 30 minutes, free or reduced, with no commitment.

During it, notice:

• Do you feel heard? Do they reflect back what you said in their own words — the sign that they're listening?
• Is the tone warm? It needn't be effusive, but it shouldn't be cold.
• Is the language clear? No excessive jargon, or if they use it, they translate it.
• Are the boundaries healthy? No personal confessions, no positioning you as a friend.
• Is there a concrete plan? By the end you should roughly know what comes next.

Worth talking through: most therapists on our platform offer a free 15-minute call where you can check the match with no commitment. Book one here.

Common traps

"A friend recommended them." This often works, but it doesn't guarantee a fit for you. Specialisation matters — the perfect therapist for someone's depression may be wrong for your social anxiety.

"The cheapest one." A low price can indicate incomplete training, no licence, or limited experience. Quality first, cost in context.

"The best rated on Google." Online reviews of therapists are frequently biased — dissatisfied patients rarely write, out of embarrassment, while very satisfied ones do. Use it as a weak signal, not as your main filter.

"Very chatty, very likeable." A therapist isn't a friend. Excessive warmth or self-disclosure can signal weak boundaries, which is a long-term risk.

"The one promising fast results." "I'll cure you in four sessions", "my method is revolutionary" — walk away. Big promises are a red flag.

If you got it wrong

Around 30% of patients change therapist after one to three sessions. That is normal.

How: one more session to say "I felt we aren't the right fit, thank you for these sessions." Ask for recommendations — "do you have colleagues who might suit my situation better?" Then start with someone else.

No embarrassment required. Therapeutic fit is individual.

Cases needing special attention

Trauma (PTSD, abuse, an accident). Look for explicit trauma specialisation. Ask: do you use EMDR or other trauma protocols? How do you handle flashbacks in session? How many patients with PTSD have you treated?

Eating disorders. Dedicated specialisation plus collaboration with a doctor or dietitian. Treatment without a team is frequently insufficient.

Addiction. Usually needs a combination of therapist, group and possibly medication. A therapist alone is rarely enough.

Adolescents. A therapist with specific training for adolescents. An adult who is "good with children" isn't sufficient.

Couples. Dedicated couples training — Gottman, EFT, Imago. An individual therapist who "also does couples" is a warning sign.

The key message

Choosing a therapist is an important decision. These twelve points give you the structure. But don't fall into analysis paralysis — at some point, you have to try.

The best strategy:

1. Filter on the twelve criteria — five minutes per candidate.
2. Shortlist two or three who look right.
3. Do a trial session with each, 15-30 minutes, often free.
4. Decide on the basis of those sessions.

In the overwhelming majority of cases, three trial sessions are enough to find a good one.

Next step: browse therapists filtered by specialisation or book a free 15-minute call.